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Nothing Is Parmanent


Now, I’m fully convinced that “Nothing is permanent,” not even the people or interests of people. I don’t know about others, so I shouldn’t generalize, but this is what I’ve realized about myself. Everything I thought I was interested in or loved to do is no longer true.
Passion: When I was in school, I was fascinated by electronic gadgets. I loved opening them up to see how they worked and tried to fix the non-working ones, or at least figure out what was wrong.

Desire: When I reached college, I became more interested in making money. I hated asking my parents for money because I thought they didn’t have enough. So, I combined my love of electronic gadgets with my desire to make money and learned mobile phone repairing. I started working in that field and, yes, I made good money for a while, about four or five years.

Respect: Slowly, I started to hate the idea of being a mobile repairer or a mobile mechanic for the rest of my life. I began to think of a white-collar job where I would get respect and money. I decided to take a course called CCNA, which was related to computer networking. It didn’t have any major prerequisites, like a B.E. or B.Tech. I was a commerce graduate with no commerce knowledge because I was working in a mobile repair shop during college lectures.

So, I took the computer networking course and started searching for a job. I landed a field job for wireless tower installation. It was a lot of physical hard work, including carrying metal poles to high-rise buildings, drilling holes in the walls, installing the tower, mounting the outdoor wireless antenna and radios, and connecting wires. I made less money than my mechanic job, but I did get respect. 

After six months or so in this job, I realized it wasn’t what I had envisioned after completing this course. While I may eventually reach that level, it would take a significant amount of time to learn the actual skills senior employees possessed in this company. Therefore, I decided to first learn the advanced concepts by reading more and then apply for senior positions directly. Once again, I left my job and enrolled in the next level of this course, CCNP.

As I progressed through my studies, I became intrigued by CCNP and eventually decided to pursue CCIE, the top course in this field. I managed to crack a few interviews and landed my first white-collar job with a good package. At that time, I was completely enamored with this technology and believed I could continue working in this field for the rest of my life.

However, as time passed, I began to experience a sense of disillusionment. The status, social acceptance, peer pressure, and the money game that surrounded me started to weigh heavily on me. Since this was my first corporate job, where I had to wear formal attire and display a company badge, I initially felt privileged, intelligent, and respected. However, as I observed others leaving the company and sharing their better job offers, I began to feel inadequate. I started buying material possessions like cars, homes, fancy mobiles, and clothes, convinced that I deserved more money simply because I was good at my job.

I also switched jobs a few times and increased my salary, but due to my frugal nature, I couldn’t spend most of my money. As a result, I ended up buying a few residential properties in Bangalore.

Now, I’ve been in my current company for over seven years, and I’ve lost all my interest in the money-making mindset and the computer networking technology itself. I’ve come to realize that both are never-ending processes that never seem to be enough, whether it’s through earning or learning. Consequently, I’ve decided to retire from my job and wait until I’m completely broke before making any further decisions. I’m not in a hurry to find answers; I prefer to let them find me. Until then, I’ll spend my time relaxing, listening to music, reading books, or perhaps trying to learn meditation.
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